~ Angkara Pediasure ~

I had an emotional breakdown last couple of weeks which led me to my biggest fear, low supply of milk. Hubby and I brought Ammar to a pediatric appointment to follow up his low iron condition cum monthly visit. Ammar is doing okay with his iron ntake but on the other hand the doctor was quite worried about Ammar's growth due to his almost static weight gain for the past several months plus his low appetite and being a picky eater. I told him Ammar is still a fully breastfed toddler but the doctor asked me back, "Are you sure your milk is enough for him? He is growing fast and surely it is not enough for him, I suggest you give him Pediasure and you won't be worried about what other nutrients that he needs. I give you some samples and you can try them!"

They were just simple sentences but I was holding back tears in front of the doctor. Yes I was taken aback by the statement, clearly he is not a pro breastfeeding pediatrician but what surprised me more was ME. To be honest, deep down inside I had to admit that I thought he was right. I have been having several episodes of seriously low supply of milk during the past several months especially after Ammar turned one and during my menses. Still, I could provide him enough with day-to-day fresh EBM even without being able to stock up my frozen EBM.

I was so down but after a long discussion with hubby we agreed to give Pediasure a try, 1-2 bottles during the day after he finish 3 bottles of EBM. On the next day, I left Ammar with only 3 bottles and hoped that he would try Pediasure later in the late afternoon. Surprisingly Ammar was doing fine with only 3 bottles of EBM and rejected Pediasure while I struggled to pump at office with no letdown reflex. I got a total 6 oz (usually I will bring back home 10-12oz) from my 3-4 pumping sessions and the problem continues for several days. There were times when I just got only drops of milk per session, the worst record in 19 months! This formula milk has been haunting me and led to pressure, hence, giving me trouble to express milk as usual. See? How milk production is really affected by mindset! Damn!

My mom tried giving Ammar Pediasure for several days but he completely rejected the milk (we tried Anmum too but to no avail) and because of that he starting to eat more. Bravo son! Cut the story short, we stopped trying and Ammar is now okay with 3 bottles of EBM. I notice his appetite is getting better, Alhamdullilah. In some sort of way I believe God answered my prayer to prolong this breastfeeding journey that I have been on. I don't want to put high hope but I aim to reach 20th month, if succeeded then continue to 21st month and so on and on until I successfully breasfeed him for 2 years. InsyaAllah..

Note to myself: I always equip myself with a lot of reading regarding breastfeeding yet I was so naive to be sucked into this 'breast milk is not enough' myth. I know a toddler's diet shouldn't be full on milk but majorly consist of solid food but I still think my breast milk is the reason Ammar is not gaining enough weight. I also know that a breastfed toddler's growth chart is totally different from a normal toddler who is formula fed, I know almost everything and I've read tonnes of articles before but sadly I panicked by just the simplest comments from someone who does not really support breastfeeding (something common that I should expect in this journey). I should have known better, trust my gut and trust my knowledge!

Note to others: Negative comments / statements clearly had shaken my confidence in breastfeeding. Speaking from me who is already breastfeeding for 19 months, I'm sure these negative comments can crush all hope and confidence in new mommies who wished to fully breastfeed their babies. So peeps, please equip yourselves with info as much as you can, knowledge can do wonder and will help you a lot! The least you can do is read all info from the lactation experts such as Pn. Suraya and Pn Farah. Good luck in your breastfeeding journey! For me, I know I have the best and the worst experiences so far but I still have 5 more months to go!

Footnote to those who doesn't know: EBM is expressed breast milk <-- susu perah la tu :)

~ 3D2N Vacation ~

I almost forgot to update about our family vacation in Cameron last 2 weeks. It was almost a last minute decision but we loved it, the much needed rest and fun for the family. Furthermore, Nora Elena fever was still high during that time so there is nothing wrong if we opted for the romantic getaway, right? Cold = Romantic, get it?! Owh, by the way it was our 3rd trip to Cameron and since we loves it so much, it might be considered as our future annual trip! Nothing much to say, here are some photos during our vacation on the high land..

Tea Time!

Hotel Lobby

I still think Century Pines is better..

Tea Plantation

Mother and son..

Chillax!

Garden

Freezing!

Last Day..

Nora Elena fever!

Hmm..

~ An Irrestible Disease ~

Nora Elena has ended with a bang! I was much affected by the series so did another 2.7 millions viewers <-- rating on the last episode. It was a happy ending yet I found the last romantic scene crammed to the last minutes. I would be happier if there were more romantic scenes towards the end. I'm gonna miss Seth the most.. sob.. sob..

Lelaki yang meruntun jiwaku.. chewahhh!

Refused to be recovered from Nora Elena fever, I decided to start reading Kasih Yang Suci that I got last week. In my opinion the story line on TV is much better but Seth and Nora's characters in the book are the best. If our country allows 18SX on tv, I will drool over the hot scenes adapted from the book!

I realized my big crush is not only on Seth but also for Aaron Aziz. So I went to watch KL Ganster and it was superb! I admit he is a very good actor, so I'm gonna watch Stanza Cinta every Sunday night starting tomorrow. I definitely will watch his upcoming movie, Ombak Rindu <-- a true confession  from a person who has skepticism about malay dramas / movies.. Ohhhh Aaron, you are so handsome!

Macam best kan?!

By the way, I'm still hype that one of my tweets (@EclassRahman) about Nora Elena has been quoted into an article by GUA. It's not a big deal but as a fan of the drama  / Aaron I feel very appreciated that my obsession is being noticed.

In a conclusion, Nora Elena is a disease and Aaron Aziz is the virus! It's the first time in my life I feel happy to be infected and caught by this disease!

  

~ Seth Tan: Suami Idaman ~

Ada ke lelaki macam Seth Tan? Berapa ramai? Suami korang ada sebijik macam Seth Tan? Sadly, kompem jawapan korang untuk suma soklan tu 'tak pun' or paling kurang 'ada la jugak skit-skit'. Best kan cita Nora Elena ni asyik buat kita terbuai dengan rasa cinta seorang suami terhadap sang isteri.Tambah pulak dengan ayat-ayat romantik yang buat kita sendiri tersengih sorang-sorang depan tv, awwwwwwww!

Sejujurnya la mesti suma orang nak suami macam Seth Tan tu kan, aku pun sendri nak. Dah berkali-kali dah aku cakap kat Inchek Zul macam ni, "abi, nanti abi buat la suprise macam Seth buat tu kat kita" or "abi selalu kena sabar ngan kita macam Seth sabar ngn Nora" dan yang pasti jawapan dia buat aku rasa awat la aku bukan Nora Elena, huhu..

Jadi untuk kembali ke alam realiti aku pun mengimbas balik kenangan lama ngan Inchek Zul, not bad la. Ada ja suprise yang dia buat tapi mostly masa zaman bercintan cintun, bertunang and mula kawen, lepas kawen sumanya straight forward, nak apa bagitau dia kang dia bagi apa-apa yang suprise aku tak suka plak kan. Tapi paling bermakna buat aku jadi masa around birthday aku tahun lepas berkaitan ngn gambar nih:

Mother and son..

Aku suka sangat moment yang dia capture dalam gambar ni so aku bagitau dia gambar ni mengimbau kenangan lama aku dok ngn mama atas buaian ni and aku rasa bersyukur sebab sekarang aku masih dok ngan mama atas buaian ni, mama plak dah merasa dok ngn cucu dia and aku plak dah dok ngan ammar sebagai ibu dan anak. Betapa buaian ni menyaksikan life cycle family kami. Tetiba satu malam tu aku masuk bilik tengok ada satu replika kecik buaian kaler putih atas meja, rupanya hubby yang beli sebagai simbolik buaian kat depan umah tu, laju je ayaq mata kluar sebab terharu kan. Ha, so sapa kata suami aku tak macam Seth Tan?! 

Sebenarnya suma suami kita macam Seth tau, cuba dok diam-diam pejam mata and try ingat balik suma yang depa dah buat mesti jumpa punya yg ala2 Seth buat kat Nora! Nak suruh jadi sebijik macam Seth tak dapat la nak nolong, perabih duit ja beli bunga sebonet baik belanja makan or beli ipad2 ke kat kita kan! Aku sendri pun bleh membebel kalo tetiba dia beli sebonet bunga kat aku, mau dari suprise dah jadi tensen plak, haha!

Apa-apa pun, jom la kita sambung tengok Nora Elena petang isnin ni, sesekali terbuai ngan cinta fantasi or separa fantasi ni tak salah, tengok pulak dengan hubby kat tepi kan, bahagia apa?!

p/s: saya berjaya memujuk Inchek Zul ke Cameron 8-10 june ni, kita tengok la nanti kot dia sendri nak tiru Seth, kot la kan..

~ Triple Celebrations ~

May has its own significance to our family because of the triple celebrations during this month. There were Mother's Day (8th May) for me, Teacher's Day (16th) for hubby and the 3rd Anniversary (17th May) for both of us!

I took a day off on Monday so I got my weekend extended to Tuesday but since hubby is working in Kedah he had to go to work on Sunday & Monday. Besides, as a teacher he surely wanted to attend his big day at school right? 

It's kind of a tradition for both of us to have a vacation on our special day. We celebrated our 1st anniversary in Kuching, the second one in Cameron Highland, but this time we couldn't go far due to time constraint so we decided to go to Penang and stay at the same hotel during our honeymoon! A revisit to a memory lane but this time with a son in tow.

We got our quick getaway and had a blast and feeling grateful for God has given us the opportunity to last this long. We both prays that we will last forever, insyaAllah..

Sunset..

The two boys that I adore so much!