Tuesday, September 25, 2007

~ BeYoNd ThE eXpEcTaTiOn ~

I've gone too far this time.. It's beyond my expectation and it's already considered unhealthy. I lost 10 kgs in less than 6 months and it's crazy. At first I thought it was an achievement, yep it was. I started at 53kg and my goal was to reach 46kg. Time passes by and the target achieved, but then the numbers keep dropping and now I'm at 42.5kg, I'm totally underweight!!

What I've done wrong? I didn't really notice that I keep loosing weight because I was happy enough to be at 45kg. I didn't adopt any unhealthy or strict diet, I did enough research so I won't get into those California, Atkins, etc. I eat anything I want, carbohydrate, fat, protein but of course in moderation.. What I do is to follow my workout routine which involve muscles training + weight lifting + skipping which I do 2-3 times a week, it's not considered excessive right?!.. The most important thing, I never throw up after each meal, that means I'm not having an aneroxia / bulimia problem, thanks God..

I've done this before but the total weight loss was only 8 kgs and not to forget I started at 55kg but it was 3 years ago.. Whatever it is I gotta find a way to gain some more, maybe 45kg so I'll look healthy again..

It's hard being a girl, it's not the issue on what people perceive on our look, it's just how our mind is working differently. We want to be pretty for ourselves, wanting to satisfy our own need which something can jeopardize something else.. I need to be normal again and not look like a skinny girl who has an incurable disease.. HuHu..

No comments: