~ HaTe ThaT I LoVe 2 ~

I love dis song so much.. really like it.. I'm in da mood of love bebeh :)

"But I hate it.. You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you..For too long that's wrong"

"And I hate how much I love you boy..
I can't stand how much I need you..
And I hate how much I love you boy..
But I just can't let you go..
And I hate that I love you so.."

Keep it in ur heart dat I'll always be there.. I'll keep lovin' u even if one day u'd stop doin' da same.. No matter what happen I'll stay.. bcoz dat's my nature..

~ HaTe ThaT I LoVe ~

[Rihanna:]
As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Rihanna:]
As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

~ BeYoNd ThE eXpEcTaTiOn ~

I've gone too far this time.. It's beyond my expectation and it's already considered unhealthy. I lost 10 kgs in less than 6 months and it's crazy. At first I thought it was an achievement, yep it was. I started at 53kg and my goal was to reach 46kg. Time passes by and the target achieved, but then the numbers keep dropping and now I'm at 42.5kg, I'm totally underweight!!

What I've done wrong? I didn't really notice that I keep loosing weight because I was happy enough to be at 45kg. I didn't adopt any unhealthy or strict diet, I did enough research so I won't get into those California, Atkins, etc. I eat anything I want, carbohydrate, fat, protein but of course in moderation.. What I do is to follow my workout routine which involve muscles training + weight lifting + skipping which I do 2-3 times a week, it's not considered excessive right?!.. The most important thing, I never throw up after each meal, that means I'm not having an aneroxia / bulimia problem, thanks God..

I've done this before but the total weight loss was only 8 kgs and not to forget I started at 55kg but it was 3 years ago.. Whatever it is I gotta find a way to gain some more, maybe 45kg so I'll look healthy again..

It's hard being a girl, it's not the issue on what people perceive on our look, it's just how our mind is working differently. We want to be pretty for ourselves, wanting to satisfy our own need which something can jeopardize something else.. I need to be normal again and not look like a skinny girl who has an incurable disease.. HuHu..

~ ThE HoPe HaS bEeN ShATteReD ~

What I've done wrong dat everything turns out to be like dis?! I haf a heart like everybody does, but why some people think it's up for a game.. They took it for granted.. Why they think I wudn't be touched wif wat happen around me, do they think my heart is made of stone?! How strong someone cud become, da heart will always remain a fragile thing.. It applies to any human beings..

Heart broken can't be mend wif words, neither can't be mend wif forgiveness nor actions.. Only time will heal.. In da meantime, how one will survive if there's no timeline given?! It cud be 1 minute, 1 day, 1 month, 1 year or maybe forever..

I'm fighting wif my own will to go on wif my life even tho da hope has been shattered again and again.. May God gives me enuff strength to go on living.. Amen..

~ ThE PiEcEs DoN't FiT aNyMoRe ~

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore


** When will it end?!!