~ Damsel in Distress ~

Wow!! Suddenly I get this urge to write again.. Maybe I'm having too much going on in my head I need to let it go or maybe, I just really want to write.. It's weird because my stories are always the negative ones rather than positive or happy thoughts. I guess things that make me happy are getting fewer and fewer nowadays. I have my loved ones around me yet I'm lonely and I don't know why from day to day I'm feeling that I've become a worst person than I was before and it's not a good sign, isn't it?? I'm having problems with myself or to be exact, my inner self. Couples of years ago I found a scratch on my dad's notebook (I'm pretty sure he didn't want it to be found but I keep it silent until now) sounded "I'm lonely even though I have you and your mother.." Honestly I was pretty shocked at that time and I didn't understand why he felt that way but now I know because I'm in the same situation. I feel lonely and isolated even though I have my family and my boyfriend around me all the time.. I don't know what I want but sometime I feel like I'm hopeless and too depending on others (mmm, actually others mean my boyfriend). I don't have many friends, I mean I have some but few that I'm really connected with. I'm not picky it's just that I don't feel comfortable with someone whom I don't share anything in common. Does getting older make me feels like this?? I'm only 23 and it's considered young and healthy.. but why I've become a girl or should I say a woman or a lady succumb to her own evil inner thoughts?? I keep having thoughts that I will be left alone and feeling suspicious that my boyfriend is not in love with me anymore. I have thrown a lot of tantrums lately for no big reason.. Am I a drama queen?? erm, I prefer damsel in distress.. I want to be somebody else, somebody who has a lot of money, independent, has great career ahead, many friends and live life happily but I guess it's hard to be the exact somebody with all the characteristics..It's just impossible rite?!!!