~ ThE HoPe HaS bEeN ShATteReD ~

What I've done wrong dat everything turns out to be like dis?! I haf a heart like everybody does, but why some people think it's up for a game.. They took it for granted.. Why they think I wudn't be touched wif wat happen around me, do they think my heart is made of stone?! How strong someone cud become, da heart will always remain a fragile thing.. It applies to any human beings..

Heart broken can't be mend wif words, neither can't be mend wif forgiveness nor actions.. Only time will heal.. In da meantime, how one will survive if there's no timeline given?! It cud be 1 minute, 1 day, 1 month, 1 year or maybe forever..

I'm fighting wif my own will to go on wif my life even tho da hope has been shattered again and again.. May God gives me enuff strength to go on living.. Amen..

~ ThE PiEcEs DoN't FiT aNyMoRe ~

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore


** When will it end?!!

~ ThE PaInTeD CaNvAs ~

The white canvas has been touched

It was painted with colors, mostly red & black

I really want it to be blank, plain & white

Untouched in it's original state..

Yet it has been unintentionally painted

I can't reverse it so I made changes

I painted the whole canvas with white oil

I thought I will feel better but it's not

Nobody wouldn't notice the differences

Yet I'm the one who holds the truth

There's nothing I can do except learning to accept it

After all, black and red are a nice combination..

Life without colors will not be called a life..

Aja.. Aja.. Fighting!!

~ 2 Separate Worlds ~

There's a lot of things going on in my mind 'n they made me feel dizzy. Do I feel sad? Yes.. Do I feel happy? Yes.. Which one I like the most? Both..

At some certain points in my life when things are always sunny, it is so bright dat I wish for some heavy rain to pour.. But when da days are too wet, I wanted so hard da sunlight to shine down on me again.. Weird huh?! I have my reasons..

When things are not on da rite way, I have the opportunities to scream, shout, weep, angry, kicking ass and being moody as hell 'n I don't need to even care about others.. It is da time for me to be lost 'n alone into my own world..

On da brighter day, I can be da other me.. Living life to da fullest, savoring every little taste of joy, laughing my heart out, 'n da best, being surrounded by the loved ones. It's priceless..

Yup, we should not live a life full with dark paths, neither we shud in a life full of gems.. A little bit of both, here 'n there will give us the perfect life.. Still, I don't want a perfect life, I just want to separate my world into 2.. for me.. 'n for my loved ones..

Complicated? Yes, I am..

~ Gud Ol' Days ~

I really miss da gud ol' days back in school.. Da days when I was so young anything seemed so easy.. Forget all da puppy loves, crushes 'n fights, life is just easier without any responsibility.. They were da days I cud do anything without giving so much tots over it but still enjoyed them so much.. Any mistake was considered a lesson, later, life went on as usual and the lesson learned.. But when I get older, it's getting harder to act basically on my instinct anymore 'coz it's too risky.. There are others' feeling dat need to be taken care of.. Mistakes will eventually set the loved ones away..